Thursday, October 29, 2009

Whiny Whinerson

Fair warning: this post is a big whiney-whinefest. I am just getting a bit of complaining out of my system at your expense. But you can just click away onto some other blog, something more uplifting, positive and interesting. Because right now I'm self-obsessed. I've been sick with a cold for two weeks, and frankly, I'm done with it. Today I went into a place, we'll call it Speedy Clinic, to see if I could get to the bottom of the mess. Here's how it went:
Doc: "So, what seems to be the problem?"
Me: "Um, my face hurts, I can't bend over without feeling like I'm going to die, I am exhausted and as you can tell, I sound like Elmer Fudd on 6 packs of cigarettes"
Doc: "Hmm. Let's check your temp."
[Doc checks temp and blood pressure. Exclaims "Beautiful blood pressure!"]
Doc: "Do you take any medications, vitamins?"
Me: "You mean aside from the 6 beers I drink per night? No. Just a multi-vitamin"
Doc: "Do you have allergies?"
Me: "Sure, in August I get hayfever."
[Doc checks inside nose and ears.]
Doc: "Well, you have allergies. I see classic 'allergy shiners' under your eyes.
Me: "Are you sure those aren't just bags under my eyes because there's 10 tons of snot in my sinuses?"
Doc: "Just take some Claritin and some Afrin and you'll clear up nicely."
Me: "But I haven't had allergies since August. That makes no sense."

But, in the doctor's infinite wisdom, she continued to assure me that the allergy meds and Afrin would solve world hunger, bring peace to the Middle East and make me look 10 pounds slimmer. So I tried it. And it failed miserably. That's my whine. And now off to bed! Ha-choooo!


Jen said...

Get well soon! We can't have a sick pumpkingirl on Halloween!

Blake Himsl Hunter said...

ugh, sorry to hear that. I just assume any little thing with me is allergy asthma related these days.


Lisa at Lil Fish Studios said...

You had me at "10 pounds slimmer"...I considered dashing out for some afrin just now.

Ugh, sorry to hear you have the creepin' crud. We had a nasty one up here too and the house was awash in salt water gargling, chamomile tea drinking, and spoons of honey-eating.

Feel better.

Granny said...

spray some of that saline water crap up there every hour or so. And, try to hang your head over a pan of boiling wanter (at least steamy water) a couple of time - especially before bed. and bury 3 toads under a maple tree at midnight.