Thursday, October 29, 2009
Fair warning: this post is a big whiney-whinefest. I am just getting a bit of complaining out of my system at your expense. But you can just click away onto some other blog, something more uplifting, positive and interesting. Because right now I'm self-obsessed. I've been sick with a cold for two weeks, and frankly, I'm done with it. Today I went into a place, we'll call it Speedy Clinic, to see if I could get to the bottom of the mess. Here's how it went:
Doc: "So, what seems to be the problem?"
Me: "Um, my face hurts, I can't bend over without feeling like I'm going to die, I am exhausted and as you can tell, I sound like Elmer Fudd on 6 packs of cigarettes"
Doc: "Hmm. Let's check your temp."
[Doc checks temp and blood pressure. Exclaims "Beautiful blood pressure!"]
Doc: "Do you take any medications, vitamins?"
Me: "You mean aside from the 6 beers I drink per night? No. Just a multi-vitamin"
Doc: "Do you have allergies?"
Me: "Sure, in August I get hayfever."
[Doc checks inside nose and ears.]
Doc: "Well, you have allergies. I see classic 'allergy shiners' under your eyes.
Me: "Are you sure those aren't just bags under my eyes because there's 10 tons of snot in my sinuses?"
Doc: "Just take some Claritin and some Afrin and you'll clear up nicely."
Me: "But I haven't had allergies since August. That makes no sense."
But, in the doctor's infinite wisdom, she continued to assure me that the allergy meds and Afrin would solve world hunger, bring peace to the Middle East and make me look 10 pounds slimmer. So I tried it. And it failed miserably. That's my whine. And now off to bed! Ha-choooo!